Your Christmas (Or Other Preferred Holiday) Gift to Me

It's crunch time. The circus show I am creating with a couple of colleagues (This End Up) has been fundraising on Hatchfund.org and we're down to our final 6 days! A few quick updates on the show's progress:

Our cast is growing! We have been scouting out performers in various fields of expertise and are excited to showcase their skills in each performance. There are some incredibly talented people out there!

We've found a performance space! We have leased a space near downtown Los Angeles that will allow us to build the set we need, and make the colored powder mess the audience will enjoy. Since finding a space was one of our biggest challenges we are now very close to being able to set show dates!

The other large and important challenge we are facing is raising the funds for our set. We need equipment in order to make the show possible, and safe for everyone involved. This is where we really need your help!

Please take 5 minutes to visit our Hatchfund site, read about the show, and make a donation that is comfortable with your budget. Hatchfund is matching donations, and your donation is tax deductible! We are currently $2,145 away from our goal; that means we just need a little more than $350 donated per day before our campaign ends in order to receive the money.

It would mean the world to me, and we can't do it without you! Thank you for your help - we'll see you at the show soon!

Image Entertainment

I recently discovered that Google + has all of my photos that I have ever uploaded organized into albums in one place. It was quite surprising, but it was also fun to be able to quickly browse through all of the photos I had posted on this blog. Because of this discovery I also realized that my blog has become seriously boring image-wise. I used to post many pictures of my daily happenings, but I assume that died down around the time my laptop crashed (this one is a loaner) and I stopped taking pictures with my real camera because I had no where to upload them. I also don't take many photos with my phone anymore because I'm constantly running out of storage space. That being said, here are a few more recent photos I do have on my phone - enjoy!

I went to a Bob's Burgers themed Halloween party and dressed as Tina Belcher; I found many "family members" there. The best part about it  all - I threw my costume together in less than a day, after watching my very first episode of the show on October 30th. I did pretty darn well if I do say so myself; I think I was the most accurate Tina of the bunch, and I didn't spend a cent!

I love playing with nail polish! I'm not allowed to have it on my fingernails when I work at the coffee bean, but I like to do fun stuff with it when I have a few days off.

One of my favorite cartoons while growing up was the Animaniacs. I caught an episode on cable last week and laughed when I saw the sign on the crate - they're supporting our show!

I made pies for Thanksgiving - black bottomed banana cream pie! I never managed to get a picture of them after I decorated them.

I often pick up random jobs for some extra cash. This last weekend I helped out a friend of mine who is a tour manager for the Yo Gabba Gabba Christmas show by being a character handler for the VIP meet and greets. I was in charge of Muno - the red character. I saw a handful of famous people, like Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite) and his family. At the end up the day I even gave Biz Markie and his buddy/co-performer V a ride to the airport. Just a regular day in LA, right?

A Little Thanks

Happy Thanksgiving! Yes, this is a little late, but I decided to do a "thankful" post. I didn't do the other social media based trends like stating one thing I'm thankful for each day of the month, so I thought I'd squeeze in a few thoughts here.

My Thanksgiving was a good one. I started celebrating on Wednesday by making a couple black bottomed banana cream pies (one of the only ways I like the taste of banana). Then Thursday was go time! I stopped  in at my Aunt and Uncle's house in San Dimas around 11am, handed them one of the pies, and got to chat a bit while some of their family showed up. Just before they served their lunch I jumped back in my car and continued on to Riverside to have my main meal with my roommate Chelsea and her family at a country club. It was tasty - and I definitely ate too much! I headed back to the westside just after dark, picked up the second pie, and met up with a group of church friends for dessert and games. Now, on to my thankful list (in no particular order):

I'm thankful for the various family members and friends that invited me over for Thanksgiving dinner this year. I was actually invited to 4 places, but could only manage the three described above. I don't typically get home to Colorado for Thanksgiving, so it was great to be included in other people's plans.

I'm thankful for the help and support my parents have given me through the financial struggle that was the majority of 2012. Losing your job is not easy.

I'm thankful for both of my current part-time jobs , and for the two other side projects I have in the works.

I'm thankful for all those who sent me job information, had me house/dog/kid sit, or do other small jobs throughout the summer to help me afford to keep living in California.

I'm thankful for my four siblings and the incredibly different personalities they have.

I'm thankful that my younger brother arrived safely home from Afghanistan a couple of months ago.

I'm thankful for a fantastic house to live in and for my roommates who all help keep the place clean, warm, and inviting.

I'm thankful for my church and the knowledge, peace and comfort it brings to my life.

I'm thankful for my many nieces and nephews and the memories I get to make with them.

I'm thankful for my body that allows me to do crazy things like flying trapeze and other aerial arts even though it isn't very easy.

I'm thankful for all the people who I can call friend no matter how near or far we may be from each other.

I'm thankful for my car.

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving as well!

Routine

As I have mentioned before I moved at the end of September into an awesome house in LA. Or have I mentioned it? I really can't remember. But it is awesome. And I finally have a room to myself.

Anyway, I have all of my essentials like clothing and toiletries unpacked but still have some work to do before I can gain the use of my bedroom floor for something other than storing boxes. How did I end up with so much stuff? Lately when I have spare time that I could be using to organize one of my closets and throwing stuff away I seem to find something else to do, or don't feel like I have the energy to tackle the project. 

I think a big part of my problem is that I haven't established much of a routine yet. At the beginning of October I again started teaching at a kids aerial arts studio (they were closed all summer while they built their new location) and I was trying to shuffle my schedule with the Coffee Bean to allow me to do both jobs. Those were a few crazy weeks that have left me with strange sleeping habits, low gas light warnings in my car, and some interesting and creative meals from forgetting to go grocery shopping. I desperately need to pull it together for health and safety's sake! Not to mention I haven't been able to spend much time working on the marketing and launch plan for my new business.

Now that both jobs have a pretty steady schedule I'm taking the time today to plan out some sort of routine so I can hold myself accountable for my time and start accomplishing more than I am. I WILL get my room organized, I WILL eat decent meals, I WILL have an earlier bedtime, and I WILL have hours dedicated to building my future business.

But of course, I'll leave some time to keep doing and learning fun things like this:

Acro Balance at Santa Monica Beach - I'm in blue

Apologies, Easy Targets, Defense Mechanisms and Kayaks

Put on your life jackets, there are rough waters ahead.

Last week a former college friend of mine sent me an online message apologizing for the way she used to treat me. I was surprised to hear from her; to my relief we had parted ways about 4 years ago and haven't spoken since. What's most interesting though is that this isn't the first time someone from my past has reached out to me to make up for their actions. A few years ago I was invited to a Christmas party hosted by the parents of a guy who had teased me as a child, then kissed me in high school and denied to the entire marching band that such a thing ever happened. Being some of the only young adults at that Christmas party he and I spent most of the evening together and near the end of the night he surprised me with his apology. There have been apologies from a few others as well.

I am grateful these people are taking the time and effort to apologize whether or not they end up being a part of my life in the future.

Receiving these apologies do make me wonder; what it is about me that makes people treat me so poorly to begin with? Why have I often been the outcast or the easy target? Just this week I walked into work to hear a coworker talking negatively about me to the other employees loud enough that the entire store could hear (He only apologized because he turned around and realized that I had walked in and heard him as well). What did I ever do to him?

It's because of negative experiences like these that I feel like I constantly have my guard up. I expect friends to suddenly decide that I'm not important enough to be in their lives anymore, so I end up not investing enough time and effort to forge deeper relationships. I also wonder if this may cross over into dating relationships as well. My last roommate recently tried to pay me a compliment after I had broken up with the guy I had been dating by telling me I was really strong; that I'm used to being alone and chose to break up rather than continue in a relationship just because it was available to me. Though she didn't mean it to, her words made me feel as though the choice I had put a lot of thought into was made merely to protect myself from getting hurt by hurting someone else first. It reminded me of that Gilmore Girls episode where Emily compares her marriage to paddling a canoe and then compares Lorelai and her lack of long term relationships to being in a kayak; she's so used to being on her own she doesn't need another person to paddle with her.

So tell me, have I officially hit kayak status? Or am I pushing others out of my canoe?

Dear Customer

Dear Female Customer who came to my register during yesterday morning's shift,

You must have had a rough morning, but you were hiding it well. For a while, anyway. I mean, what other reason did you have for flying off the handle at me?

We greeted you as you came in the door and started selecting a few items from the refrigerated case. You asked me a question about the cup of oatmeal which I explained we could add hot water to now or let you take it and make it elsewhere at your convenience.

You selected a boxed salad along with the oatmeal and asked me to make the oatmeal now as you came to my register. Smiling, I did so and cautioned you to be careful with the container since it was extremely hot. I finished your transaction and noticing your hands were full, I asked if you wanted a bag for you to take your items. When you said yes I opened the bag for you.

I don't know why you suddenly felt like you needed to rush to put everything in the bag; no one was asking you to step out of the way for another customer. We were definitely focused on you at the moment. Whatever the reason, you ended up dropping the oatmeal as you put it in the bag, swearing out loud when it spilled. I quickly said "I've got it" and grabbed the cup before it had completely emptied, and saved the salad while telling you to not put your hand in the bag so you wouldn't be burned. I'm sure you didn't realize that the oatmeal had splashed on me during this ordeal, right? That's okay. Better me than you; like I said, you must have had a rough morning already.

Imagine the surprise on my face when you immediately began to shout at me. I froze with your salad in one hand and the bag dripping with steaming oatmeal in the other as you said something like "you know, you could actually HELP your customers!" I was shocked. Did you really think I was not helping? Or were you simply lashing out at me because you were upset that you had a clumsy moment in public? Had you waited a few more seconds you would've had your replacement oatmeal in your hands. I stuttered a response ("that's what I'm trying to do...") and you very loudly demanded a new cup of oatmeal, AND a new salad. This time though, you decided to take the oatmeal uncooked.

I wonder, did it make you feel better to let your anger out at me? I'll bet it didn't. One of my coworkers asked you if you were okay while I was cleaning up the mess and he said it looked like you were going to cry. After being handed your new bag you turned your back to me as I wished you a good day. You didn't acknowledge me. But you probably just didn't hear me.

I'm Moving...Again!

I've only been in my current apartment for three months, but this was a planned temporary location. As it was temporary, I had agreed to live in the living room of the one bedroom apartment. Not even two weeks after I moved in, my roommate asked me if I would be okay sharing the living room with a friend of hers who was in a pinch and needed to crash for only a week or two. I agreed; a week or two is nothing. Skip forward 2 1/2 months, and that "friend" is still here!! It's been all I can do to not rip my hair out of my head! I have had NO personal space, she sleeps until the afternoon causing me to tiptoe around and not be able to do much at home, and then wakes me up almost every night making more noise than necessary. She takes an average of two showers a day, and she only occasionally has contributed to rent, which frustrated me as she spends money renting cars, dying her hair, and taking trips to San Diego. Either she's lying about her dire situation, likes to take advantage of people, or has no self control when it comes to budget. Maybe a bit of all three.

Anyway...Now the time has come to pack up my things once more, leave the squatter behind, and settle into a HOUSE! I'm so excited to be in a house! In my own room! With a door that shuts! I nearly jump up and down every time I think about it! Better yet the house is partially furnished, so I've been able to sell a few more of my things and lessen the amount I have to haul from place to place. I took over one carload of stuff tonight and will hopefully have the rest done TOMORROW! Hooray!! Can someone say housewarming party?

Preparing for the Franchise

In 6 days I am boarding a plane for the near-East coast and meeting up with my business partner for a workshop with the company we've franchised. I don't have the official breakdown of our daily workshop schedule, but we will be spending about 3 days learning the ins and outs of the way they run the company, learn about the set up process and get an approximate timeline for choosing and constructing our location, sign more official paperwork, and basically be on our way.

I am looking forward to visiting this state again, and for the possibility of meeting up with an old friend I know from Colorado during some down time. I am SO excited for this trip I have had to fight the urge to start packing for about a week, though I have compromised a little by already buying all the travel-sized toiletries I need (baggage fees are for suckers!). Maybe I can put off the packing urge a while longer by arranging transportation to the airport...

This End Up

It's launched! The kickstarter campaign for our circus "This End Up" went live today! I'm super excited.

BUT - in order to make this show happen we really do need a bit of financial support, so I'm once again shamelessly self-promoting here. Please take a few minutes to visit our kickstarter page, watch the video and contribute even $1! If you're not familiar with kickstarter, the website gives projects one month to raise needed funds through donations, but if the funding level is not met in the timeframe, nobody pays the money they pledged. It's an all or nothing kind of deal. Every dollar makes a difference, and of course, there are rewards for donating! Share our project with all your friends, coworkers, and anyone you know, because you never know who would like to help!

Thanks everyone! I look forward to seeing you at the show!

So Many Good Things

I have been overwhelmed lately in a positive way. So many good things seem to be happening to me right now I haven't been able to process everything! After a couple of rough trials in the last few years it's nice to be experiencing so much good.

The Guy
I usually keep my personal relationships out of blog posts, and generally I feel that will continue to be the case. I have been dating a wonderful guy for almost 2 months and am constantly amazed at how kind and sincere he is. We are very similar in the way we were raised and the way we now see the world, which is hard to find in Southern California. I have been enjoying spending time with him whenever schedules and distance allow (he lives near San Diego). But don't jump the gun here people, this is no save the date announcement; it's too soon for me to know how far this relationship will progress.

The Jobs
I've been working at a coffee shop part time in order to pay the bills, but my real enjoyment recently job-wise has been in preparing to teach at a kids aerial arts studio. This is the studio I first started training at when I discovered aerial arts 2.5 years ago, though they have been closed most of the year as they built their new (and BEAUTIFUL) studio a few miles South of their original location. Before they closed I was leading birthday parties and working as an assistant instructor, but now have been offered a position as an instructor two days a week. I've been busy conditioning and learning the curriculum for the ages/levels I will be instructing. Their projected opening date is October 1st, with their soft opening in Mid-September.

The Side Project
Near the beginning of the year my friend Mike and I were standing on the flying trapeze pedestal of another aerial arts studio during our regular weekend class when he half jokingly asked me if I'd be in his circus if he had one. Without missing a beat, I accepted. Earlier this summer Mike approached me again asking if I remembered that conversation, and asked if I was really still interested - because he was, in fact, starting a circus. We have now gathered our core creative team, principle performers, and music composers, shot hours of video footage, and are launching our kickstarter campaign TODAY to raise the funding we need to get this project off the ground. Once the campaign is approved it will go live. Shameless self-promotion moment in the meantime: check out our website at www.thisendupshow.com and on facebook at www.facebook.com/thisendupshow
I think it's an amazingly fun concept.

The Future Career
I know, I know, you're probably wondering why I now have 3 paragraphs dedicated to work. Well, I could say it's because I'm writing this post on Labor Day.... but really, both "The Jobs" and "The Side Project" aren't full time, and none of them are bringing in a hearty paycheck (yet...the circus is going to be big!). I've been missing having a clear career path with all these random, crazy hours I've had to work to scrape enough pennies together to pay for rent. So... I franchised a business! Yep. I can't give too many details until more official paperwork is signed, but I have a business partner and we have made the down payment on our own franchise! It's unique, and fun, and may require me splitting my time between SoCal and another state. I'm hoping I won't have to give up Los Angeles completely; it just depends on how demanding the set up process is. I'll share what I can as soon as I'm allowed - you ALL have to visit the business when it's up and running!!!

Alright, I'm tired and have labored enough on this holiday. What are your "so many good things" that are happening right now?

Highway Driving

I drove out of town both weekends we've had in August. The first was an unexpected trip up to Utah to attend a funeral (I may blog about that in a later post), and the second was to be in the bridal party of a friend's wedding in Las Vegas. Once upon I time when I lived in Las Vegas I took road trips more often because the places I wanted to go, like Colorado, Utah, and California, were close enough that I didn't feel that flying was necessary. I developed great driving stamina with my trips home to Colorado which was roughly a 10-12 hour drive depending on traffic/construction, and weather. On a good trip I could make it home with only two stops for gas and the use of a restroom. Since moving to California I typically fly anytime I go out of town - especially since Colorado is more of a two day trip from here.

Anyhow, I spent a lot of time on the highway recently and encountered several frustrating experiences that gave me the desire to remind the general public of a few common courtesies while cruising the open roads:

1. Turn Signals.
2. Passing Lanes.
3. Cruise Control.

Thank you.

Orange County Fair

This week I began performing in the flying trapeze show at the OC Fair. It's fun! It's the first real paid gig for flying trapeze I've ever done. I did help with a commercial shoot at Paramount Studios once by swinging on the trapeze for lighting purposes, but I was not the flyer featured in the commercial, nor did I end up getting paid for anything I did that day. But that's a different story.

I went down to the fairgrounds on Tuesday to try on my costume and practice a couple of tricks without a crowd (the fair is closed Mondays and Tuesdays), and it all felt great! I could get into my tricks just fine with the corset top, and my catches were solid. Wednesday I headed back down to the fair early so I could watch their 4pm show to see how everything went before replacing one of the other flyers for the 6pm show. About ten minutes before the 4pm show I got a call from the rig owner telling me that one of their performers was stuck in traffic and wasn't going to make it in time for the show, and asked me if I would be willing to take her spot - without having seen the show myself! I awkwardly made my way down the packed bleachers and let myself into the performance area to quickly change, stretch my arms and chalk up my wrists. I did my best to follow the other girls' leads throughout the show, and it went well! My adrenaline was pumping and my legs were a little shaky while on the pedestal, but everyone threw beautiful tricks. When the 6pm show came around my shakiness had subsided a little, but I had a new reason to be nervous since a couple of my friends (who also fly) were seated in the audience.

I did two more shows today, and was given the opportunity to do a hoop performance at the beginning of the last show of the day. Since I hadn't performed a solo hoop routine since New Years Eve, I spent time between my two flying performances watching some of my old videos and re-choreographing my NYE routine so that it would work on the hoop they had up. My routine ended up being a little shorter than the time usually allotted for their static performance, but wasn't an issue as they have a person running the music transitions during the show rather than relying on a pre-recorded soundtrack. I got quite a few compliments from the rest of the staff afterward.

I'm supposed to get my schedule for next week in a couple of days - I'm looking forward to more performances!

P.K.M.I.

I read a lot of blogs. Because I read a lot of blogs I have developed a pretty good idea of things I do not want this blog to turn into. Let me present to you my "P.K.M.I..." list so you can help keep me in check. As a disclaimer, I'm not singling out any of my blogging friends. I like to read your blogs; they give me something to distract me from whatever else I'm supposed to be doing!

Please Kick Me If...

...I get into the habit of titling my blog posts with acronyms (today's title was obviously meant to be ironic. Did you catch that?).

...I regularly share more than 5 pictures in a post. If more are needed, I should create a collage and present that as one or two photos.

...I start dedicating my blog posts to people who aren't in my life yet (a spouse I don't have, yet-to-be-conceived children, etc.).

...I regularly gush about how adorable my very average looking child/pet is.

...I turn my blog into a "marriage blog." See THIS POST to understand my thoughts on this.

...I monetize my blog to the point where ads are basically the only thing you notice.

...I ever use my blog to try to sell 

...I stop having fun while posting.

Love you all. Blog on.

Sleep Talking

This week a friend of my roommate's is staying at our apartment and I am sharing the living room with her. Between the three of us there are about 6 languages spoken semi-fluently to fluently, and about 2-3 more that are partially understood because of common roots.

I believe almost everyone has talked in their sleep at some point; I think it's funny when people do, although I haven't decided if it's more funny if you can or cannot understand what's being said. Either way, my roommate and I had a good laugh this morning when our house guest started talking to us from the living room. My roommate came into the room to ask her what she had said when I pointed out that the gal was still asleep, and speaking Polish.

Downsizing

I moved! After nearly three years of being in the same apartment I decided to relocate. I loved my old apartment and am not the biggest fan of the moving process, but it was definitely time. For the majority of this year I was having trouble finding someone to rent the last spot in my apartment, which meant I was paying double my usual rent as I was the only one on the lease. Without a full time job this was proving difficult, and it didn't make sense for me to stay. I also wasn't terribly fond of the one roommate I did have for multiple reasons (her dog got fleas and they chewed up my ankles!!), so I gave my landlady a month's notice and started packing.

I moved in with a friend at the beginning of the month, and am currently living in the living room of her one bedroom apartment. I like it, but there isn't nearly the same amount of storage space here as there was in my old apartment. I have use of the tiny coat closet, some kitchen shelving, and bought some cinder blocks to put under the legs of my bed to create some extra storage space. Even with getting rid of my couches, donating clothes, selling bed frames, lamps, wall art, and throwing away about a ton of old papers, an old bicycle, and whatever else I could convince myself to part with, I find I have WAY too much stuff for this place!

For now I'm trying to take some time to further thin out my belongings, but am also trying to keep the majority of my things boxed up and ready to move again around the beginning of September when my roommate's boyfriend from New York moves in with her. Anyone in need of a roommate this Fall?

The Oldest I've Ever Been

Well, I finally gave in and did it. I turned 30. Sigh. Though to me it seems like any other birthday in the sense that you don't magically wake up feeling like a different person, once you hit 30 there is still the perception that you are now "old." When my dad tries to remind me how young I really am I often tell him "I'm the oldest I've ever been!"

I had much more envisioned for myself at 30: solid career, handsome husband, maybe a couple of kids, happily paying a mortgage on a house with a yard. I don't have any of that; I was laid off and work a part time job, I'm clearly not married nor have children, and tomorrow I am moving out of the 2 bedroom apartment I've been leasing for nearly 3 years to take up residence in the living room of a 1 bedroom apartment that my friend is renting. I don't feel like I'm where I should be (accomplishments-wise) for a 30 year old. That part is disappointing.

My actual birthday however, was a blast! My older sister Stephanie flew in from Colorado with some of her kids two days before my birthday, and we packed as much fun as we could into her 4 day trip! We spent a lot of time outdoors taking her kids to 3 beaches, many, many restaurants, and up a hiking trail to a waterfall. Our younger sister Krystin was supposed to join us as well, but a week before the trip she started feeling unsettled about driving all the way from Idaho alone with her two little kids in the car. After speaking with us about her impressions we all agreed it would probably be best that she keep her family safe. Turned out for the best too, as her insulin pump (she's diabetic) ended up failing before the trip would've been over! 

On my birthday Stephanie, her kids and I decided to do 30 things to celebrate my 30 years, which kept us busy from 7:30am until midnight! For a few examples, we went to the La Brea tar pits, hit up Hollywood to see Cher's star on the walk of fame and her hand & foot prints at the Chinese Theatre, visited the wax museum, watched Monsters U at the El Capitan, we did some shopping, ate out for every meal, looked for license plates from 21 states (my birthday was on the 21st), did a chinese firedrill, rode the ferris wheel on the Santa  Monica pier, and baked individual pineapple upsidedown cakes. It was a fantastic way to turn 30!

Stephanie flew home with the baby the evening after my birthday, leaving me with the other two kids to spend a couple of days at Disneyland before accompanying them back to Colorado. Now it's time to settle in and see what the rest of 30 feels like. Wish me luck!

An Official Transplant

Tuesday night I attended my first Dodgers baseball game. I feel like it was a right of passage; like I'm truly a Southern California resident now! It was also free hat night so I now own my first piece of sports paraphernalia. Though I always thought my first would be an Avalanche hockey jersey...

My Birth Month

I love the month of June. Yes, I'm totally biased - my birthday is in June. In fact, my birthday falls on the longest day of the year (most years). I tend to celebrate my birthday all month long in little ways like buying myself ice cream, or treating myself to new clothes/shoes, etc. because I feel less guilty doing so when it's "for my birthday."

This year though, I wasn't looking forward to it much at first. Maybe because here in Southern California we have what is known as "June gloom" where the mornings are just gray and hazy until the afternoon sun can finally burn off the clouds. Or maybe it's because no one showed up for my birthday party last year (and when I say nobody, I really mean not a soul. It was a pretty low point in my life, yet I still smiled and told people it was a fun night when they later asked how it went). Or maybe it's because this year I'm turning 30 and feel like I haven't accomplished anything worthwhile.

My older sister, knowing it had been a rough year for me called me up in April to tell me that she had a birthday present for me - she was going to come out to Cali to spend my birthday with me! I'm excited! I get to celebrate with my best friend! Then the news got better; my little sister wanted to come join the festivities as well!

Don't get me wrong. I still think turning 30 bites. But I am looking forward to my sisters' week/end and am glad to know that at least this year for my birthday someone will show up for the "party."

Levada Searsee

I received a phonecall today from someone asking for Levada Searsee. Now, I don't know who she is, or if I'm even spelling her name correctly, but it's not the first time I've received a phone call for her. When I first got my current phone number I would receive calls for her every week. I didn't mind much at first, because when you get a new number it's bound to be someone's old number.

But the calls continued coming, and from the sound of it these callers were probably not her friends. It sounded like she owed people money.

For a while I stopped answering calls from numbers I didn't recognize on the caller ID. Which probably wasn't beneficial for me or them; I'm sure many callers tried again and again thinking that I was Levada and trying to avoid them. I finally started taking the calls to let people know that I was not the gal they were trying to reach.

It worked. The calls started dying down, and eventually disappeared. For a bit. Then a new wave hit. by this time I was convinced that this Levada character was still giving out my phone number to people to get away with whatever she was doing. I talked the next wave of people down, and until today, I hadn't received a phone call for Levada in a very long time. This had better not be wave 3. I kind of want to track her real number down myself to pass on to those who call me.

For goodness sake, I've had my number for 5 1/2 years now.

Under the Big Top

Friday night a dream of mine came true. I GOT TO FLY ON A TRAPEZE RIG IN A CIRCUS TENT! Now let me give you the back story.

Monday afternoon I went to the Santa Monica pier for a flying trapeze class where I was introduced to Christina. Christina is a pro flyer who has been in Pop Circus in Japan, Circus Vargas, and is getting ready to leave for Orlando where she will be in Cirque du Soleil's La Nouba. Monday however was not one of my better days flying (the pier isn't my favorite rig, and I felt a little stressed by present company) and I ended up embarrassed to do so poorly in front of a pro.

A few days later I met up with a friend for dinner to discuss a project that I agreed to help him with. Another friend, Krista, was also in attendance with Robert- another pro flyer who is currently a catcher for Circus Vargas. Robert invited us to come see them perform, to stay after the show was over to see their flying trapeze practice, and maybe, just maybe get a chance to fly on their rig!

So Friday I headed to Orange County and enjoyed the show- and noticed that Christina was flying. After the show Krista and I were invited to fly (yay!), and up the ladder we went.

The Vargas rig has two trapezes side by side, and is about 10 feet higher than the rig I fly on. I won't lie, I was intimidated. I stood up on the pedestal for a while watching the pros take their turns and could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I was nervous that I was going to fly as bad as I did on Monday. When my turn finally arrived I took off and gave it my best. I flew much better than I had anticipated and loved getting coached by the pros. Talking with Christina afterward she gave me some compliments, some advice, and commented on how different (aka-better) of a flyer I was when I wasn't attached to heavy safety lines or worried about who was flying with me. It was a fantastic night.

Working the Weekend

Right now I work three days a week. Yep - just three! This would be perfect if it was a super well-paying job, yet even though I still have to search out other sources of income throughout the month in order to survive, this schedule has it's perks. For example, since the three days I work are consecutive, I get a four day weekend. Every weekend! That's a lot of time to fill with whatever activities I want (insert slightly devilish grin here).

As this last Friday approached I had a basic idea of how my weekend was going to go: 

Friday - go to the beach
Saturday - flying trapeze, help Caitlin (coworker/friend) with her friend's film/photo shoot for a couple of hours downtown
Sunday - church
Monday - help Elizabeth (friend/fellow aerialist) with her film shoot for school

Friday went as planned, I slept in and then got a light sunburn at Venice beach. The last couple of days however ended up being more jam-packed than I had thought!

Saturday I showed up to the studio for flying trapeze with some time to spare, so I went inside to check in with the owner (Ray) and buy a water bottle before heading to the rig in the back. Inside I found my friend Angel and a couple of cameramen setting up lights. I said hello and asked Angel what he was going to be filmed for, he told me it was for an aerial piece for a segment on Dancing With the Stars this upcoming Monday. During our conversation one of the cameramen walked up, introduced himself to me and asked if I would be able to help out - they wanted me to demonstrate the hammock routine that Angel was going to show to Derek Hough. I was unsure at first since Ray was expecting me in trapeze (and cancelling late results in paying for the class anyway), but Ray cleared the way by volunteering to take me out of the class and only sign me back up if we finished filming before class was over. So, suddenly I was filling out a release form to be filmed for television with Angel and Derek! I only wished I had put on makeup that morning. Sheesh. The shoot went quickly once Derek arrived, but since he took so long to get there I only managed to sneak in two swings with my trapeze buddies afterward. Luckily though, Ray let me do those for free.

After a stopover at home to clean up and eat some lunch I headed downtown to meet up with Caitlin's bunch. The film shoot ended up being for a look book for a European clothing line that's trying to grow their presence in the USA, and the shoot required us to sneak out of a 4th floor apartment window to climb up the fire escape ladder on the face of the building to access the roof. I'm sure it was a funny thing to see from the street. The original plan was to just do the rooftop shoot, but since their morning hadn't gone according to plan, they recruited me for a semi-impromptu drive up to the valley to do more filming at a carnival. By the time the shoot ended at 11pm I was exhausted and happy to be heading home.

On Sundays I usually sleep in since I have church at 2:15pm, but this week's schedule was different due to a conference, so we met at 10am. Before I left I received a text from Cynthia, my doubles hoop partner, saying she was going to be at the Taste of Hawthorne event all day with another aerial/yoga studio she teaches at, and that I should stop by if possible. She also told me to bring clothes I could play in. I changed in to some aerial friendly clothes after church and showed up to play around 1pm. Since I was with Cynthia they immediately ushered me to the rig and encouraged me to perform between their little shows. Little did I know that they were really going to put me to work! It didn't take long for the studio owner to ask if I would perform a routine in their next show, and by the end of the day I had performed my hammock routine three times without music (this was while I was playing around), twice with music during their shows, I helped teach paying customers (kids) some basic tissu and hoop skills, and performed my doubles hoop routine with Cynthia twice. We actually surprised ourselves by figuring out how to do our entire routine using a standard hoop - we had only ever performed our routine on a doubles hoop! Some moves were a little more squished, but overall it went really well!

Tomorrow (Monday) I'm still heading up to UCLA to help with Elizabeth's film shoot - but just found out a couple of hours ago that I'm not there to help behind the scenes like I thought; I am once again going to be in front of the camera! I'm supposed to be there 830am-2pm, then I've added even more to my schedule and will be heading to the Santa Monica Pier for their 4pm flying trapeze class with a friend who needs to use their groupon. I realized that this weekend has been a great opportunity to test my stamina as a performer - running from gig to gig and being able to put on a show (whether as an aerialist or an actor/what have you) on demand with little to no notice. Anyone who knows me should know that I didn't move out to California to live this kind of life, but it has been a fun experience this weekend! I'll let you know if I survive another day.

Being Friends With Married People

What a wonderful, hilarious but true blog post about the relationship between married folks and single people. Give it a read:

http://www.itjustgetsstranger.com/2013/05/a-letter-to-married-people.html?m=1

Paycheck

I picked up my first paycheck from my part time job today - I felt happy to get the money, then that feeling was quickly followed up by a touch of sadness when I remembered how much I used to make. I'm losing confidence that I'll find a full time job doing something I will enjoy (read - something in my career field), or that pays well; sometimes I wonder if my time in LA may actually be coming to an end. I need something to happen to improve my situation soon if I want to stay in my apartment (that's up for debate anyway) or you know, want to keep paying my student loan and making my car payment. I kind of have a potential work opportunity out of state on the horizon, but there are a couple of (big) factors that are preventing the opportunity from coming to fruition. I just kind of feel stuck. What am I missing? How can I fix my situation? Come on college degree - show me you're worth something!

To The Aerialists I Saw In E=M Cirque2...

You are idiots. Was that harsh? Well, suck it up, I think you need a little straight talk right now. I saw one of your performances on Saturday April 27th, 2013 at the renaissance fair in Irwindale, California. As a fellow aerial performer I enjoy seeing as many aerial acrobatics shows as possible, and was excited to find one at the fair. In the show I watched there were two acts performed on your freestanding rig, static trapeze and hoop. Though I was seated as close to the rig as I could get I have no idea how well the performances went as my attention was drawn to the base of your rig. Can you see what I see here?

That folks, is a person (a E=M Cirque2 member), holding the rope that allows one to adjust the height of the aerial apparatus being used on the rig. It is not tied to anything; not secured in any way. You aerialists performed your routines while your apparatus was being held up by a PERSON. Excuse the language, but what the HELL were you thinking?! While I sat staring in disbelief after the show, a few of you asked if I wanted to take a picture by the rig. I said no - I actually had a few questions. I asked about the rigging, and asked if you had someone hold the rope when there was a silk performance too. I was told that yes, they could hold the rope for the silk performance, or lock it in place with the device on the rig that was meant for securing such things. I followed up - why wasn't the rope secured during the show I just saw? The reasoning was that you wanted to be able to raise and lower the performer at the beginning and end of the routine, and the performers just needed to trust the person on the end of the rope. SERIOUSLY?? My head was spinning. Since I didn't sense that you had figured out that I am a performer too I let you know that as an aerialist I would never be comfortable performing without the rigging being secured, that it wasn't safe. They asked me if I knew the guy who purchased the rig (I don't), and said I should talk to him if I have questions. I left.

I was so incredibly bothered by this exchange that I couldn't articulate in the moment what I should have: as an aerialist your FIRST concern should be your safety! Know your rigging, know how it works, what it's capable of, and how to properly set it up and SECURE it (consider taking a rigging workshop where you learn about how much you really weigh when doing a drop!). So you say you trust the guy holding you up, but guess what - there are circumstances out of your control. What if he slips? What if he has some sort of medical emergency while holding the end of the rope? You never know what could happen! Lock it in place and reduce the chances of something going wrong!

Let's say something does go wrong. Besides the physical injuries that you may end up with, what are the chances of that fair or other fairs and festivals hiring aerialists in the future? One accident can reduce future work opportunities for all of us. You could even cause the price of specialty performers insurance to go up (if you have insurance...).

Several months ago I was scheduled to be on a television show with my doubles hoop partner. We had spent weeks preparing for the gig and were in full costume and make up when we discovered that the studio was planning on hanging our hoop from a random chain they had backstage. We didn't have any idea what the chain had been used for in the past, or what type of weight it was capable of bearing. The show had specifically sought out aerialists for this episode, but that didn't mean they knew what was required to safely rig our equipment. We ended up walking away from the gig - our safety was more important than the money we would have made.

For the sake of all aerialists - be smart! Take the necessary steps to ensure a safe performance so our livlihood can continue.

Train of Thought

I've had a lot more time to sit and think lately. Well, I'm not necessarily sitting, but that's not the point. With a lot more down time I catch my thoughts wandering quite randomly through current challenges, past experiences, and all sorts of craziness. For your enjoyment I share with you a small part of what was running through my mind tonight.

Scene: in my car running a few late night errands, one of which involved stopping for frozen yogurt - because I wanted to.

Thought process: I don't want to eat this alone in the store, I'll get it to go. Tax is cheaper that way anyway. (Driving) I don't want to eat this at home either- Paris (the roommate's dog) was bugging me all day; I'm kind of at my limit as to how much attention I can give her today. The roommate will probably be home and walking on the treadmill as well, that's noisy. Yeah, definitely not going home. Okay, where can I go? Is there a park nearby? It's dark - even if I found a park, would it be safe? I wish I was back in Colorado, I know what parks are safe at night. Or, at least which ones I feel comfortable in. I have no idea how safe they really are. Gosh the moon looked cool on my way down here, too bad it's already changed...OOOH! Airplanes! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... (looking back at the road) 6,789.... (looking at the road again) there's at least 12 in line to land. I love watching planes land. Vegas had a cool place to park and watch planes land. I wonder if that bridge I used to pass on my way home from work has a place I can park and watch planes - that's where I want to eat my dessert. 

(After driving many extra miles and only finding streets with no parking signs near the airport...) 

Fine. I'm parking by the beach. Can't see the planes anymore, but I can hear them taking off... (opening frozen yogurt) I like maraschino cherries. When did I learn to tie cherry stems with my tongue? Seems like I've always been able to do it. Ha! My first make out session started because of a cherry stem. (I proceed to tie all 4 stems in knots) Did I have dinner? I ate some salad, I guess that counts. Why can't I see the ferris wheel at the Santa Monica pier from here? Do they turn the lights off at a certain time? This view would be better if it was higher on a hill with fewer lights, like the place in Palos Verdes the (ex) boyfriend and I drove to after my last day of work. That was a good view. Even after a crappy day I sure felt lucky to have someone next to me who cared about me. It would be nice to have someone next to me now. (rolling eyes) Get over it, you're fine. You've gone through tough stuff before, and you still have people that care about you and look out for you. I feel like Lorelai from the episode of Gilmore Girls where she has a lot of good things happening, but it's all being overshadowed by current problems - running out of money for the inn she's opening, her business partner being super busy with her family to take some of the weight off her shoulders, her daughter/best friend Rory's schedule not matching up to see her...she goes to ask Luke for money but ends up dumping her emotions on him in a full out crying fit saying that she's a strong woman, she likes her life, but sometimes she wishes there was someone else, a partner - think husband - to pick up the slack, to be there to support. That would be nice... but I don't want kids right now; I have too much training to do if I'm going to be a successful aerialist. I can't wait to see my nieces and nephews in a couple of months! My birthday is going to be awesome!

*From there, my thoughts skipped to other men I found attractive in my late HS years and the ways I asked a few of them to sadie hawkins dances, one who turned me down and then showed up to another dance with one of my friends, an awesome date in college who dressed up as Tobias from arrested development to attend a famous couples themed activity with me, etc. Then I finished my frozen yogurt and drove home thinking about sneaking in to an apartment complex to use their hot tub, wondering what companies and positions I would seek out first to send my spiffy new resume to, wondering if it was too late to call my sister on the phone...

I swear my brain doesn't stop.

A Little Bit of Charity Goes A Long Way

On Sunday I was approached by a gal at my church whose face I recognized, but I couldn't remember her name. That's kind of how it is for me with a lot of people there- I recognize them, have probably had a brief conversation, maybe two with them, but don't end up committing their name to memory when these brief conversations don't convert into a friendship in the long run. It's usually the same on their end as well.

As a side note I tend to dislike the small talk conversations that take place when you're first getting to know someone; they're all the same:
"Hi, what's your name? Where are you from? Have you lived here long? What do you do out here? Cool, nice to meet you!" If I wore the answers to those questions on a sign around my neck would you come up with something different, or just not ask me anything at all?

But back to my story about Sunday... Though this gal asked me if she was correct, she did remember my name, and started a real conversation with me. When she learned that I was on the hunt for a new full-time job and not receiving a lot of response from the amount of positions I've been applying for she offered to take a look at my résumé and see what she could do to help. She contacted me the next day to schedule a time to meet up later in the week, and she offered the use of her computer since my laptop died on me several weeks ago. She then followed up this afternoon to confirm our meeting time.

Tonight she spent over two hours with me rewriting my résumé in a way that highlights my skills that relate to the jobs I'm applying for. I've never had a résumé that looked this good! If that wasn't more than generous, she immediately had me log in to LinkedIn and update my information to match the new résumé. She wasn't obligated in any way to help me, and she didn't want anything in exchange for helping me. I am incredibly grateful for the time she took to help out someone in need, just because she could.

Socks, Tide Pools, and Part-Time Jobs

I started my part time job at The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. I don't know if I like the job yet (I know I don't like the pay), but I do like the people I work with. The manager of my store seems invested in her employees, and has very little turnover with her staff because of it. Knowing that I had applied for a shift supervisor position rather than the barista position I was hired for, my manager had me meet with another location's manager today since they will likely have a shift supervisor position available fairly soon. I will continue to train at my current location, but it's nice to know that there are already people who are looking out for me and trying to give me advancement opportunities.

In other news I am once again without a roommate; the gal who moved in at the beginning of March was having a pretty rough time out here in LA and decided to take a break and move back home to Canada for the time being. I was sad to see her go, she was one of the best roommates I've had recently. I have someone coming over to see the place later this week, and am exchanging emails with another gal about the spot, so hopefully I'll have a new roommate move in May 1st!

I don't know if it's the change in weather or some other factor, but my body is mad at me! My face is going through a small breakout, which isn't that abnormal, but it is simultaneously dry and flaky on my chin, around my nose, and along my hairline on my forehead. My cheeks can also feel a little dry. It's a weird little combo. Add to that I've gained a bit of a tan from being outside, and none of my makeup currently matches my skin tone. I kind of look like a bit of a mess.

My feet are having separate issues- my three little toes on my left foot are scraped up from slipping on rocks while wandering around some tide pools over the weekend, the bottom of my right foot is tender from stepping on a bee on the beach on my way to the tide pools, and I'm starting to think I'm developing athlete's foot around my toes on my right foot. I've slathered my feet with Neosporin and anti-fungal cream respectively, and have donned socks for the night. I hope it helps; I hate sleeping with socks on.

I'm In Time Out

...Until I can adjust my attitude and be able to blog without being overly pessimistic, sarcastic, or unpleasant.

(I was turned down for another great job today.)

Destiny: Mediocrity

I have never been on a winning sports team, I was never given an important role in a theatrical production, I have never been the best at anything. Today was no exception.

Today I auditioned to be an aerialist for the touring company of Cavalia. It was an invite only audition, which I was thrilled to get! I spent the last week training as much as I could in order to be ready, and I was feeling confident...until yesterday when I woke up and realized that I had strained my back. It hurt to bend and move, and at one point it was difficult to stand at all without holding on to something for support. I was in trouble. I spent most of Wednesday off my feet, soaking in Epsom salts, using heat packs and icy hot patches, and eventually doing some minor stretches hoping to loosen things up.

This morning I got up at 5am needing to take more pain medication; there obviously hadn't been much improvement. I went to a morning class and did what I could to warm up and prepare for the audition. It did help to move around, and when the adrenaline kicked during the audition in I *almost couldn't feel any pain, even if I still didn't have my full range of motion in my back.

The audition was small; only 11 girls had been invited. For the first time I thought I might actually have a shot at the job- this was much better odds than the Disney parade audition I had gone to a few weeks ago where I was one of over 500 female dancers in attendance. I started getting my hopes up.

I did a hoop routine and a short hammock routine and shared my experience working with horses. I was told by one of my instructors that the horse experience probably gave me a good edge for this show.

At the end the creative directors thanked us for our time and said they'd get back to us. And they did - just a few hours later while I was spending time with one of my friends who had auditioned. She got a callback, I didn't. The worst part? The lack of empathy she had. No, she wasn't rubbing it my face, but when I wondered out loud if I was going to get a call after she had gotten hers, there was no show of support coming from her. No encouraging words, no consolation when the call didn't come. It felt like she was expecting me not to get it, and that she wasn't surprised that I didn't get it (by the way, she also tried to discourage me from doing the Disney audition).

But, I can't say the day was a complete waste - I was offered a job at The Coffee Bean. So now I can take all my training and my college degree and serve everyone their morning jolt as they head off to their important and successful positions in the world. Because, of course, when successful people write their memoirs, they'll for sure mention the girl who gave them the caffeine necessary to make their dreams come true.

On

There are days in flying trapeze when everything just clicks. Today was one of those days for me. Regardless that I hadn't flown in two weeks, my swing was strong (I was consistently feeling the drive up in my seven- for those of you who know what that means), I practiced two tricks out of lines, and am now catching my layout much more consistently. I love the confidence boost that comes with a great day in the air!

Vitamin D

I was feeling agitated today. This agitation stemmed from multiple sources, but long story short, I knew that the cure I needed was to get outside in the sunshine. Being inside my apartment for more than half a day lately starts making me feel like a caged animal; I go from job hunting to watching Gilmore Girls, to checking my email, to playing a game on my phone, to reading other people's blogs, to eating a meal or snack, and back to job hunting. Don't get me wrong, I'm being productive and finding plenty of jobs to apply for, but there comes a time during the day or week where I reach my limit of cover letter writing and resume emailing, and I just need to get out!

Grabbing a book, I got in my car and headed toward a park a couple of miles away that I had only seen in passing. I got to the parking lot and turned off the engine for a while, but didn't get out. The park was too busy; it didn't look like I'd find a good spot to read uninterrupted. Changing my plans, I headed to See's candy for their awesome cinnamon suckers I only recently discovered. On the way there I happened to drive by another park I had never been to, and decided I'd swing by on my way back with my sweets.

It was a great park. I pulled into the dirt lot, left everything but my phone, car key, and book in the trunk of my car, pocketed a cinnamon sucker, and headed up the path on the hill. The wooden walkway crisscrossed its way upward through the trees offering viewing points of the city, which would have been much prettier if it weren't so hazy out today, but it was still enjoyable. I walked around the baseball fields at the top of the hill before retracing my steps to a bench in the sun. I was there for more than an hour reading, taking in the view, and occasionally moving to different benches as the sun started casting shadows from behind the trees as it drifted toward the ocean. I finally gave up and headed for home when it got too windy and chilly to be outside in just a t-shirt and flip-flops (I know, California has terrible weather, right??).

My agitation wasn't completely soothed, but it definitely helped to get away from the world and do a little exploring in my own neighborhood. I'm sure I'll be back to visit this park again soon!

Elevation NYE

As I've mentioned, I've been on the job hunt. For anyone who's looked for a job full-time you know how depressing and tedious that can be. So, to get my mind off of the searching, cover letter writing, and failed interviews/auditions I'm currently dealing with, I'm going to jump back a couple of months and post about my awesome NYE experience! 

It all started in early December when a friend sent me an invite to a single's NYE dance party to be held at a photography studio in Anaheim. He sent it to me specifically because this NYE event was featuring a handful of aerialists. I wanted in!! I contacted the event organizer and asked how I could throw my hat in the ring to be one of the performers. Being super accommodating, he had me send him a few videos of what I could do, and then later he contacted me to say he would be able to squeeze me in at the beginning of the event for a routine or two, since their other performers were already promised so many routines. I was thrilled! Better to be a paid performer at the beginning of the night than not perform at all!

Before flying home to Colorado for Christmas, I looked up a couple of aerial studios online to make sure I could work on my routines while out of town. My mother picked me up from the airport when I arrived, and she agreed to stop by Aerial Dance Over Denver on our way home so I could get an updated copy of their schedule and see when I could take advantage of their open gym times. Upon meeting the studio owner and a few of the other employees I knew I wouldn't be stopping at the second studio - this one all but handed me a key; they were thrilled to have a visiting aerialist utilize their space. They were so warm and welcoming my mom told me to grab my workout clothes from my suitcase and get to work right then! It was fun to have her there while I worked on my hammock routine; she had never seen me practice or perform in person before.

I visited the studio many more times over the next week and a half, and headed back to LA a couple of days before New Year's Eve feeling good about both my hammock and hoop routines. Just before leaving Colorado however, I was contacted again by the event coordinator and asked to perform on tissu during the finale when all of the other aerialists would also be performing. Tissu is my weakest apparatus, but challenge accepted, I immediately headed to my studio in LA to put together a routine that wouldn't wear me out.

On NYE I arrived early and checked out the rigging for where the hoop and hammock would be hung, touched up my makeup, and started warming up. The crowd was a little thin during my hoop routine, but that was to be expected since it was only a half hour into the event. More and more people filtered in throughout the night, and by the finale we had over 650 people dancing inside the warehouse! There were a few handfuls of attendees I knew, most from here in L.A., but also several from my college days in Las Vegas - including an old roommate!

Pretty much the best New Year's Eve I've ever had!

Friday

I had a pretty great Friday. Here's why:

-I got to sleep in a little.
-Drove to Malibu to attempt some outdoor rock climbing with my older brother who is in town visiting and saw a whale swimming past Point Dume (My first time seeing a whale in the wild)! 
-Relocated to an indoor climbing gym after the cold wind convinced us to pack up after two ascents, and kicked butt on my first indoor route - a 5.10a! This was big for me as I haven't been rock climbing in 3+ years (maybe even 6-7 years... I really can't remember the last time I went!), with the best I ever did at my peak being a 5.9 in a gym, and a 5.10 c/d outside. Guess that aerial training is pretty good conditioning!
-Homemade sushi.
-Spent an hour with my brother beating the game Bubble Bobble on the Nintendo NES (yes, the original Nintendo game system).
-Realizing that if I go to sleep right now I can still get 8 hours in before heading off to flying trapeze. =)

Onward and Upward

There are two dates every year that members of my family have tried to be the first to remember and remind everyone else of. The first date is March 4th, known as "Noah's Ark Day." We did not come up with the story/joke ourselves, but it goes something like this:

"Did you know that today was supposedly the day Noah let all of the animals off the ark? For didn't he command the animals to 'March Forth?'"

Just a bit cheesy.

Yesterday was the last day of my little trip home to Colorado, and I was the first to remember the date (although I don't think anyone else really cared this year, as my text message to my family garnered only one response). However, as the day drew to a close and I prepared to board a plane back to Los Angeles the date took on a new meaning for me. Yes, I'm dealing with some difficult experiences having been laid off and then dumped by my boyfriend within a week and a half, but really I am doing okay. I realized that I am marching forth. I don't feel all bent out of shape from the events that have transpired. I am now back in my apartment, I found a roommate to fill the spot that had been empty since November, and am being asked to work more often at the aerial studio where I started my training two years ago. While I don't have a full time job yet, step by step things are coming together.

So the moral of today's story is to remember not to let the difficult things weigh you down, they will get better. Pick up, move on - march forth.