Are You Speaking My Language?

(I have been thinking about the topic of this post for a while now; I honestly didn't plan this as a Valentine's post. I should also explain that I have been thinking about love languages in regards to relationships other than romantic relationships- this post should be read as such.)

I have never read the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, but of course I have heard people talking about the different languages and had a pretty good idea of which language was my language based on the way I saw myself reacting in different social situations. I had an experience recently where I was beginning to feel hurt/neglected by a close friend and had to remind myself to take a step back and realize that this friend was not out to hurt me, but more than likely I was feeling this way because we speak different languages.

Wanting to learn a little more about the way I express and recognize love, I looked up the 5 Love Languages quiz here. The beginning of the quiz explains that you will get a "thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with those closest to you and effectively enhance the relationships in your life." After taking the quiz I think there is a slight flaw - I think that the results show how I recognize or feel that I receive love, but don't necessarily reflect how I try to show love to others.

My results showed that I actually have TWO languages that tie for the number one spot: Quality Time, and Physical Touch (I scored 9 out of 12 on each).

Quality time confirmed what I had already figured out on my own: when I feel like people don't have time for me, I feel unloved. Simple as that. In this case I think quality time is important to me on both the receiving and giving side of relationships. When I care about someone I try to spend time with them, which is probably why part of the description struck a chord with me by saying "distractions, postponed dates [plans], or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful."

I was kind of surprised that I scored just as high in the Physical Touch category, but after I read though the description I realized that it was more accurate for me as the receiver of physical affection, rather than as the giver. I don't consider myself an incredibly touchy person, but when a friend offers me a hug, plays with my hair, touches my arm to get my attention or more recently, when a friend put her hand on my back to check up on me while at a party (and subsequently let me crash on her couch because I was too wiped out to drive home), I find that that physical touch means a lot to me!

I scored quite a bit lower on the remaining three love languages, yet the quiz suggests that we should "not dismiss those other languages as insignificant." I scored 5 out of 12 on Words of Affirmation, 4 out of 12 for Receiving Gifts, and 3 out of 12 on Acts of Service.

I know I like words of affirmation when I feel they are honest and unsolicited from the giver, but think I'm pretty poor at giving words of affirmation to others. There have been times I have found myself holding back a compliment for no reason at all.

Receiving gifts can be fun now and then but too many make me feel indebted to the giver. However I love finding the perfect gift for someone - something that shows that I have paid attention to things they like or need, but it's not something I do on a regular basis.

Receiving acts of service typically makes me feel uncomfortable - especially if I think someone may be offering to help me because they think I am incapable of accomplishing a task on my own. This is completely my perception as the recipient only; I'm sure people offer acts of service just to be nice, or because it's their love language...because on the flip side it is one of my languages as the giver! I like serving other people when I care about them! If you're sick and need someone to force fluids down your throat, need a last minute babysitter, need a ride to the airport, whatever - I'm there. Perhaps it's because in many instances of service I am able to spend quality time with the friends I'm serving.

Overall I think the quiz was pretty accurate in defining the way I interpret (receive) love. It was also good for me to re-realize that even though I may sometimes think friends aren't doing the best job of making me feel loved, it doesn't mean that they aren't trying hard to express their love for me through another language!

The Velveeta Follow Up

I had a dream last night (after my experience with the Velveeta mac and cheese)...

I was eating what appeared to be ice cream or yogurt, but it was not normal. It was too thick, and make my mouth stick closed. By the end of my dream I was using my fingers to unsuccessfully try and scrape the crud out of my mouth. When I woke up I felt incredibly nauseous and couldn't shake the feeling until sometime after lunch.

I believe I have learned my lesson!!

Velveeta - One VERY Good Reason Not to Shop When You're Hungry

The box says "Reduced fat pasteurized prepared cheese product." I think it should be changed to say "Edible glue."

When I was a nanny one summer in high school I was taught how to make macaroni and cheese for the kids I watched using Velveeta. I remember liking it and convincing my mother to buy the stuff once so I could make it for the family. She was not impressed with the results.

Many many moons have passed since I had last eaten Velveeta, and I had nearly forgotten of its existence when I spied it in the grocery store last week. I was on my way home from work and decided it would be most convenient if I did my grocery shopping before I had eaten dinner. This shopping-while-hungry thing typically results in a few impulse buys in addition to my needed grocery items; on this particular outing my impulse buy was the 2lb brick of Velveeta.

Never again.

Tonight I cooked up a batch of macaroni and cheese and dished up a large bowl to enjoy. The first spoonful told me I had made a poor choice (as if the box hadn't already warned me - what other food product can you keep refrigerated for up to 8 weeks after opening??). The "cheese" stuck to my lips and was so thick it couldn't even be licked off of my spoon. Each bite I took was harder and harder to get through, especially since it thickens as it cools. It was also starting to make me super thirsty. I only made it about a third of the way through my dinner before my body made it clear that if I tried to eat any more I would be re-acquainted with everything I had already put down.

I hate wasting food - or in this case "food." Bad news is that I still have more than half of the brick left, and no desire to use it. Takers??

Another Trapeze Video

I'm sure we've all figured out that I'm in love with aerial acrobatics, and that I have plans to run away and join the circus someday (seriously!), so here is yet another video of me flying. The trick is called a pullover shoot, and catching this trick was a big deal for me. I had only seen one person at my studio catch this trick, although I watched a lot of failed attempts. I had some extra motivation for making this catch though - my friend Alyson lost a bet and now has to fly in a prom dress! You better believe I'll be posting video of that once it happens. =)

Lyra (Hoop) Performance

I finally let the owner of the aerial studio talk me in to performing at the studio's Winter show. I performed with 3 of my friends who take classes with me, and I don't think it turned out too bad!

Neurofibroma

Remember when I mentioned the bump on my nose, and how badly I wanted to get rid of it? A few months ago a friend of mine gave me the name and number of a dermatologist that her boss had highly recommended. I copied the information on to a sticky note, folded it in half, and tucked it behind the cover of my cell phone. For months I could see the yellow piece of paper through the cover each time I looked at the back of my phone, but I hesitated to make the call - assuming that my lack of health insurance would ensure a large chunk of cash would have to exit my bank account to make the removal possible.

As time went on I got more impatient. This bump has not been on my face my whole life; I first remember it making an appearance somewhere around 2004, and it continued to grow slowly each year. I didn't worry about it too much at first, I thought it may be a wart, and warts can supposedly go away on their own once the virus has run its course. I hoped this would be the case for me when I left for South America in 2006. When I returned to the USA in late 2007 the bump was bigger, and I decided it was time to try a home wart remover. It didn't work, so I left it alone again.

Children found the bump on my nose fascinating. I mean, how could they not notice it? Kids would often ask what was on my nose, and some would even reach out to touch it. I didn't mind- it was just their curiosity. What I did mind was when of my friends' kids - who is old enough to have manners - started being mean about it. He would be sure to point it out every time he saw me, and just be a little brat about it. Worse? His mom seemed to purposefully ignore him when he started teasing, and one time his dad overheard the kid call me a witch, and he laughed. Really?? What happened to teaching your kids to be kind and polite? Annoying.

Last month I finally decided to call the dermatologists and set up a free consultation. I figured I could at least find out how much money I needed to start saving to make my nose look normal again. So, one week before Halloween I skipped out of work for a couple hours and went to my appointment. The doctor looked at my nose, said she didn't think it was anything to be worried about (as in, it looked non-cancerous), and told me how much it would cost for the procedure and lab work. Surprisingly, it really wasn't that expensive, and she said she could do it right then! 15 minutes later I was bump-free and had a band-aid stuck over my half-numb nose. I love it.

Fly Away!

I noticed I haven't been dedicating much time to my blogs lately. I was wondering why I haven't sat down and written anything, and I think I'm afraid of posting something boring. Right now my life consists of work and aerial acrobatics, and that's about it. I LOVE talking about aerial stuff and telling people about the progress I've made and the fun things I do with my friends that I've made while training, but I quickly noticed that when I talk to people who don't have any experience with aerial acrobatics they almost instantly tune out. I also think that my online audience has dwindled a lot over the last year, which is fine, but it's hard to find the motivation to write when I feel like no one's going to read it anyway.

Maybe I'll think of something interesting or witty to say one of these days, but for now I'm going to get ready for bed, dream about flying, and let the stress of my week go as I soar through the air tomorrow morning!

Just for kicks, I leave you with the wonderful words of Aerosmith in "Fly Away From Here":

Gotta find a way
Yeah, I can't wait another day
And nothin' gonna change
If we stay around here
Gotta do what it takes
Cause all in our hands,
We all make mistakes, yeah
But it's never too late to start again
Take another breath
And say another prayer

Then fly away from here
Anywhere
Yeah, I don't care
We'll just fly away from here
Our hopes and dreams are out there somewhere
Won't let time pass us by
We'll just fly

If this life
Gets any harder now
It ain't no nevermind
You got me by your side
And anytime you want
Yeah, we can catch a train and find a better place
Yeah, cause we won't let nothin' or no one keep gettin' us down
Maybe you and I
Could pack our bags and hit the sky

Then fly away from here
Anywhere
Yeah, I don't care
We'll just fly away from here
Our hopes and dreams are out there somewhere
Won't let time pass us by
We'll just fly

Do you see a bluer sky now
You can have a better life now
Open your eyes
Cause no one here can ever stop us
They can try but we won't let them
No way

Maybe you and I
Could pack our bags and say goodbye

Then fly away from here
Anywhere
Honey, I don't care
We'll just fly away from here
Our hopes and dreams are out there somewhere
Fly away from here
Yeah, anywhere
Honey, I don't, I don't, I don't care

We'll just fly away