32

June is my birthday month! I'm turning 32. Recently a friend of mine celebrated her 33rd birthday and wrote out a list of 33 goals she wanted to accomplish in the next year. Taking a page from her book, I'd like to create 32 goals that I can work on when I turn 32. Some will take time or be ongoing, and some will be one-time things.

1. Cut out desserts/candy/processed sugary foods for 6 months.
I have done this before, but never for 6 months. Basically, my aerial training is semi non-existent right now, add my sugar consumption to the mix, and I've gained back all the weight I lost when I was training 3x a week. Maybe even a little more. Since my current budget for taking classes is zero dollars I need to do other things to halt this trend. I've been trying to decide if I'd allow myself to cheat once a month, but I think I need to say no to that. If I start this immediately I can begin to reintroduce small amounts back into my diet just before Christmas.

2. Go out to eat (on my own dollar) no more than once a month.
My budget is tight. I can do more to ease the strain. If someone wants to take me out on a date however, I'm happy to accompany them wherever they want to spend their money!!

3. Go for a walk once a week.
Fitness. Sunshine. Fresh air. Meditation. Enough reasons.

4. Put a minimum of $25 dollars in savings every month, and keep it there!
It's not much, but it's savings.

5. Donate old clothes to a charity.
My closet is full, yet I don't wear half of what I own. I've also had a box of clothes sitting in my room for the better part of a year that are meant to be donated, but I haven't done it yet. I have a hard time parting with clothes! I need to get rid of what I don't use to see what I really need.

6. Evaluate and update my emergency supplies.
I keep several things in the trunk of my car; an emergency camp stove, air mattress, sleeping bag, toiletries, bottles of water, old shoes, etc., but I want to go through my supplies every 3 months to make sure I'm ready for anything. I'll do these updates in July, October, January, and April.

7. Write in my journal/scrapbook at least once a month.
I do better when my journal's are a little more informal. I tape ticket stubs, programs, and other tidbits in with a quick written entry. I want to focus on adding more details - people's names, spiritual experiences, things that would matter to future generations.

8. Eat meat no more than 3x a week. 2x a week being ideal.
I find I have more energy when I'm eating lots of veggies and fruits. I know this sounds like common sense, but it's been recent that I have really noticed it make a difference in my body. I also feel better when my animal protein is mainly fish. I hardly ever buy beef anymore, chicken and pork only occasionally. I decided to give myself a little wiggle room with the number of times I eat meat per week simply because I am one person, and cook enough food that I usually end up with leftovers.

9. Write a hand-written letter to someone once a month.
Right now my grandfather is sick and not doing well, and it made me think about all the times he wrote to me while I was in Uruguay. Getting mail from a loved one was one of the best parts of the week! Now that we may be losing him I feel like I need to let people know more often how I care about them by taking the time to send them a letter.

10. Read at least 2 books a month.
I started doing this back in January and want to keep it up. I've also joined a book club, which I don't need in order to fulfill this goal, but it gives me opportunities to discover books I may not find by myself. (PS - I have already completed 14 books this year, and am halfway through my 15th. None of which I have read before. I'm ahead of my goal!)

11. Buy a paper shredder.
I've wanted/needed one for years. I have old bank documents and the like that I'd rather shred than just toss in the garbage. This will help with my clutter problem.

12. Donate old magazines to a retirement home or library.
Again, the clutter.

13. Go to the temple 1-2 times per month.
I got to speak with my grandfather on the phone last week. He said go as often as possible. I'd like to honor him by following his advice.

14. Fix my bike tire.
I ran over a nail sometime last summer on my way back from the beach and never got it taken care of.

15. Take my car in for regular oil changes.
I am so bad at this. I think I'll see if the place I go to can set up several appointments in advance so they're already in my calendar every three months.

16. Grow something.
I have a few little seed kits I've been hesitating to get started on; tomatoes, peppers, cilantro, etc. I don't think I have my mom's green thumb skills, and I'm afraid to prove myself right. Time to experiment!

17. Do my visiting teaching every month.
I haven't been too bad, but I can always improve.

18. Learn one new word in ASL every week.
I've wanted to learn for most of my life, and know a few words now. I have a great ASL dictionary thanks to my friend Sarah, and another friend who is learning (and knows so much more than I do!) so I have no excuse!

19. Find a cheaper cell phone plan.
I'm spending too much money and use nowhere near the amount of minutes and data I pay for.

20. Practice the piano once a month.
Doesn't sound like much, but I can't do a lot of practicing on my keyboard because it's not a full 88 keys, the keys aren't weighted, so I need to plan on taking music to the church building or similar to get the real experience

21. Practice the guitar once a month.
I'm just lazy and haven't learned anything new since....I don't know, high school?

22. Read the Book of Mormon in Spanish (out loud) in its entirety.
I'm forgetting things in Spanish. This is a good way to practice my understanding, and pronunciation, as well as study the scriptures. This is 53.5 pages per month, or 1.75 pages per day.

23. Practice handstands once a week.
Who doesn't want to spend more time upside-down?

24. Be in bed by 1am EVERY NIGHT.
Very few exceptions should/will be allowed. But they better be good. Sounds like it's a late bedtime, but my sleeping habits have been worse and are still all over the place. Time to regulate.

25. Organize my bathroom drawers.
Clutter. Again. I want little containers/dividers to keep things from sliding around.

26. Write 2-4 blog posts on this blog every month.
Because I know you're dying to read more about me. Obviously.

27. Write a post for my In Depth Gilmore blog every other month.
With all the books I'm supposed to be reading I can read one for this blog every other month.

28. Do one creative writing exercise every month.
I miss writing short fiction. I think I was once good at it. I mean, I did made my mom cry with a story that was less than 2 pages long...titled The Sock.

29. Throw out old socks.
Speaking of socks... I have way too many, and don't wear them all, and some have small holes. I think I can let the weakest links go.

30. No more than 1 hour of social media (facebook, twitter) per day.
I get sucked into articles people post and can waste hours. I don't need to leave completely, but I can waste less time.

31. No more than 1 hour of television or 1 movie per day.
I have to pick one or the other. It's easy to get sucked in when I'm home during the day. I have DVR. I can space things out.

32. Hug someone at least once a week.
Because trying to hug someone every day might be too awkward for my life situation right now!

Now that my goals are set I'm going to print off some sort of checklist to hang on my bedroom wall to keep track of my progress. I'm kind of amazed I came up with 32 goals! Keep me honest, people. Randomly ask me about one of them every once in a while. Care to join me on any?

Cold Water

I am deeply grateful that I live in a day and age where hot showers are possible. Even taken for granted. Our water heater broke this weekend (hashtag firstworldproblems); the second time that has happened since moving into this place just over a year and a half ago. The first time we had to have the entire thing replaced, luckily that was not the case this time! However before the repair was completed I did end up having to take a cold hobo-style bath by crouching in 2 inches of freezing water in my tub. Sorry for the visual.

It was in this moment that I was reminded of a few other times where I had to decide whether to wash myself in ice water or go on smelling like a neanderthal. I thought I'd share these lovely experiences with you, starting with the most recent and working my way backwards: 

The most recent experience was when our water heater broke the first time. I'm pretty sure it was in the summer, because I don't remember my shower being completely unbearable. I sure didn't waste any time in there though.

On my mission in Uruguay I was in one apartment that had an electric shower head - it plugged in to a power outlet (safe, right?), and when water ran through the coils inside would heat up and warm the water as it came out. Deep in the middle of winter one day I turned on the water to activate the coils before jumping in the shower, and immediately the shower head sparked and caught on fire! I turned off the water and the switch on the wall that correlated to the outlet, unplugged the shower head, and the small fire put itself out. We contacted our landlady who said it would take a couple of days to replace. Did I mention this was our only form of heated running water in the apartment? Because it was. I tried toughing it out for a day or so, but eventually I felt so grimy that I decided I needed to shower no matter what! The water was SO cold I could barely breathe!! I would jump in just enough to get wet, and have to jump out again to lather up my hair and wash. By the end of my very short shower I was gasping, my whole body shaking, and my head aching from the temperature of the water. No bueno. After that we decided to use a bowl system with water heated on the stove or heated with another small plug-in device meant for use in a thermos for mate (the loose-leaf tea-like drink). This typically produced water that was way too hot, so we'd fill a second bowl with the cold water and try to use water from both without getting scalded.

The first experience I remember was when I went on a rock climbing camping trip with some friends in Colorado. We spent several days getting sweaty and dirty on the rocks, then sought out a way to get cleaned up. Since we were out in the middle of nowhere our only option was the river. Even though it was summertime the river was cold from the snow melt coming off the mountains. We definitely were a little short of breath while in the water, but looking back it definitely wasn't as bad as my South American experience.

I am so glad our water heater is working again. It's the little things.

My Little Dancers

Last Saturday evening I trekked down to a high school many miles away to attend a dance performance. I had already had a full day and was exhausted, but I absolutely wanted to be at this show! 

Back in November I started teaching private silks lessons to a small group of these high school dancers; nearly every Saturday they would show up to the studio at 8am, some of the girls having crawled out of bed only 15 minutes before we began, to learn what they needed to incorporate silks into their year-end performance. They worked hard! Many of these girls attended extra classes during the week to try and improve even faster. One girl had been coming to my classes longer than the rest and was assigned by her dance coach to choreograph their aerial routine. I guided, instructed, and corrected as their routine began to take form, was changed and polished. We ran that routine over and over and over.

The results were beautiful! A smoke machine created a cloud-like effect on the stage, and dancers dressed in blush pink tulle moved between the white silks as my girls wrapped and climbed up and down the silks in sync. I watched as each girl put her best effort out on that stage on Saturday; the audience cheering, and my heart bursting with pride. They had learned so much in a few short months, and conquered what they set out to do! It really is the best feeling ever to see my aerial students wowing an audience and thinking "I taught them how to do that!"

Trade Places With Me. Anytime.

The older I get while I'm single, the less some married people seem to understand me. Or even try to understand me. Tonight gave me a couple of examples.

I attended a meeting to discuss the needs of various women who attend my church. Along with another single gal (we'll call her A), I was asked to come prepared with ideas and suggestions to help meet the goals and visions that had been established at the beginning of the year. Since we don't normally attend this meeting, A and I met a couple of days in advance to talk and prepare.

During this pre-meeting A and I discovered that we both had similar feelings about the way some assignments are made within our women's organization. Within the church's women's organization we are assigned to visit a few other women on a regular basis to check in on them and offer support where possible, whether that be emotional or spiritual. We noticed that the women in our congregation were most often assigned to visit each other based on what they appeared to have in common, meaning women with husbands and families were assigned to others with similar family structures, and single 30-something aged women were assigned to visit other singles. While I understand that this was probably to help establish friendships, A and I were feeling a little pigeon-holed. We already have activities and events that the church creates and supports just for single people in our age group, and we have a good network of single friends. But on Sundays we attend a congregation with families; families we would like to get to know and be friends with too. A and I wanted to share our feelings during the meeting, but weren't quite sure how to bring it up. The opportunity ended up presenting itself nicely.

During tonight's meeting a new assignment was being discussed, and the ladies in charge immediately started suggesting one woman visit another because they were both married and had kids. A and I looked at each other and knew this was the moment. I spoke up and explained our viewpoint as kindly as I could, sharing that the single women would probably love an opportunity to get to know someone outside of their single social circle, and that not having everything on the surface in common can work out well. It's nice to have someone to talk to who isn't in the same walk of life; I said I could sit and commiserate with other single people about our singlehood any day, but often I want to step out of that bubble and see what the rest of the world is up to.

I thought I was getting our message through, until I was suddenly interrupted. One married lady with two small children (who has never shown any interest in getting to know me) butted in and tried telling me how much easier our lives were as singles and that we don't really have a right to complain about anything because we're not married. She was simply brushing off our concerns that we felt were important enough to bring up. Maybe it's because this last Sunday was Mother's Day - a day I struggle to attend church as I battle feelings of jealousy and loneliness while watching the young children sing about how much they love their mother, wondering if I'll ever get the chance to have a family of my own, but what she said stung. I looked straight at her and said those 5 words titling this post: trade places with me. Anytime.

At this point I finally thought I had an ally as another woman spoke up saying she agreed it would be good to assign a single woman to check up on a woman with a family...because then she could babysit! And that's where I gave up.

Dentists

Once upon a time when I moved back from South America I went to the dentist. I had been living abroad for a year and a half without dental care, but wasn't concerned - I made sure to get an exam and cleaning before I left the country, and took extra good care of my teeth while I was away. While I was gone my parents had switched dentists.

I got a cleaning and an exam done, pretty typical. Until this new dentist pulled out some machine I had never seen before. He used this hand held tool to "scan" my teeth, and every time it beeped he explained, it indicated I had a cavity. It was beeping. A lot. Like, 12 times. He didn't confirm these cavities by comparing the spots that beeped to the x-rays, either. I was wary. He knew I was heading back to school out of state soon, otherwise he was going to try and book me for multiple appointments to drill the heck out of my mouth. I was grateful for the excuse not to.

Fast forward a few years... I never went back to that dentist. I offered myself as a candidate for a dental student's final exam at UCLA thinking that maybe I could get one of those supposed 12 cavities taken care of for free. The dental student did a preliminary exam, took x-rays, and only found one cavity. That's right - ONE. And it was too small to qualify for his final exam. I was immediately grateful I hadn't returned to my parent's dentist.

That first exam back in the states however had left a bad taste in my mouth - so to speak; and I slacked on visiting any dentist regularly afterward. I just couldn't trust them! Trying to conquer my fears (and realizing I had a very likely cavity), I finally caved this year and went to a dentist I had met through a friend. Turns out that cavity (and one other) were bad enough that I've been to the dentist 4 times in the last month to do 2 crowns, and I still have one more cavity to fill in about a week. I do trust this dentist, but I am looking forward to not seeing her again for six months!