I created a circus. I created a circus with a partner and it got booked at the LA County Fair - a fair that often takes acts several years to get in to - before we ever performed a show. We perform 3 to 4 shows a day, 5 days a week, for 23 days over 5 weeks, totaling 84 performances. We passed the halfway point of our run on Saturday the 13th, while performing outside in 100+ degree weather. These are all things to be proud of! We have and are accomplishing something great.
Several times now within the last few weeks I have become an emotional mess of a human being (mostly in private), but couldn't put a finger on exactly why I keep having these breakdowns. Maybe it's the heat, I thought, and the long hours, and the driving 40 miles each way to the fairgrounds, and being the leader all the time, directing people where to be and what to do, and trying hard to be a good example by not complaining about the heat, and the long hours, and the driving while everyone else is. While all of these could contribute I don't believe they are the main source of my problem. It's vulnerability.
In the past I have held jobs that were pretty basic. Positions that were very plug-and-play; nothing that required me to put myself out there in a creative sense to be watched and judged by 2 million people. But this show - it's my baby. It's not just my routine and how well I perform each day that reflects on me, it's every single performer, every single routine, every potential success or mistake, it's all mine. I'm putting my creative and managerial talent all out there at one of the biggest fairs in the United States and hoping that it's enough. Enough to draw in and entertain a crowd, enough to be rehired by the fair, enough to get further work from other fairs, corporate, and private events, enough to interest performers in our vision and future work opportunities. It's a lot. And it's scary as hell.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Birthday Week! Part 2
Wednesday - I share a birthday with several friends, and it's become an annual tradition to go out to lunch with one that I met while living out here in California. This year we managed to get together BEFORE our birthday; last year we were a couple months late when we finally coordinated schedules! We ate at a tasty Brazilian restaurant and enjoyed catching up with each other.
Thursday - I got to sleep in, I fed the missionaries from my church one of my favorite home cooked meals, and met up with my friend Sarah for dessert. We went to The Ice Cream Lab in Beverly Hills and I got my favorite - peachy cobbler ice cream. We talked for hours, and Sarah ended up sleeping on an air mattress in my room. It was another nice evening of catching up!
Friday - I had the house mostly to myself in the afternoon so busted out 3 or 4 loads of laundry (sounds like a lot, but our washer is REALLY tiny!), and watched more TV shows I had saved on the DVR. My friend Veronica picked me up in her convertible and took me to a birthday dinner for me and another gal (Angelica) at the Cheesecake factory in Marina del Rey. We had a rather large party of about 16 people, so we were seated outside overlooking a little beach area and part of the marina. Everyone was really sweet and bought dinner for Angelica and I, and my friend Holly had already told me she was buying my cheesecake. Definitely a great place to be treated to! Since it was my last night as a 30 year old I chose their 30th anniversary cheesecake - it was delicious. After returning home my friend Chris came over and watched half a movie with me - we were both so tired we had to turn it off so he could go home.
Saturday - THE BIG DAY. I got up early and drove to Long Beach to teach my first aerial class at my new job. Since I was a little early I drove up signal hill for the view before heading to the studio. The class went well; it was small with only 3 students, but they were wonderful to work with. I'm excited to go back next week! After returning home and grabbing some lunch I headed out to Santa Monica beach and spent hours sunbathing, swimming, body surfing, and chatting with my friends who were able to join me. One of my former aerial students came out with her parents as well to celebrate. The day ended at a cast party for This End Up (yes, we're a little late getting together), where I was spoiled with some gifts, balloons, and a cake that had a circus tent drawn on it. By the end of the night I could barely keep my eyes open!
Overall I had a FANTASTIC birthday week. I felt like a lot of people went out of their way to make me feel special, and it really meant a lot! It was a very great way to turn thirty-1-derful!
Thursday - I got to sleep in, I fed the missionaries from my church one of my favorite home cooked meals, and met up with my friend Sarah for dessert. We went to The Ice Cream Lab in Beverly Hills and I got my favorite - peachy cobbler ice cream. We talked for hours, and Sarah ended up sleeping on an air mattress in my room. It was another nice evening of catching up!
Friday - I had the house mostly to myself in the afternoon so busted out 3 or 4 loads of laundry (sounds like a lot, but our washer is REALLY tiny!), and watched more TV shows I had saved on the DVR. My friend Veronica picked me up in her convertible and took me to a birthday dinner for me and another gal (Angelica) at the Cheesecake factory in Marina del Rey. We had a rather large party of about 16 people, so we were seated outside overlooking a little beach area and part of the marina. Everyone was really sweet and bought dinner for Angelica and I, and my friend Holly had already told me she was buying my cheesecake. Definitely a great place to be treated to! Since it was my last night as a 30 year old I chose their 30th anniversary cheesecake - it was delicious. After returning home my friend Chris came over and watched half a movie with me - we were both so tired we had to turn it off so he could go home.
Saturday - THE BIG DAY. I got up early and drove to Long Beach to teach my first aerial class at my new job. Since I was a little early I drove up signal hill for the view before heading to the studio. The class went well; it was small with only 3 students, but they were wonderful to work with. I'm excited to go back next week! After returning home and grabbing some lunch I headed out to Santa Monica beach and spent hours sunbathing, swimming, body surfing, and chatting with my friends who were able to join me. One of my former aerial students came out with her parents as well to celebrate. The day ended at a cast party for This End Up (yes, we're a little late getting together), where I was spoiled with some gifts, balloons, and a cake that had a circus tent drawn on it. By the end of the night I could barely keep my eyes open!
Overall I had a FANTASTIC birthday week. I felt like a lot of people went out of their way to make me feel special, and it really meant a lot! It was a very great way to turn thirty-1-derful!
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Birthday Week! Part 1
My birthday falls on a Saturday this year. THIS Saturday, in fact. I LOOOVE when my birthday is on a Saturday, but I have no real reason why Saturday would be my favorite day for my birthday- my birthday is obviously in the summer, so it's not like I ever had to go to school on my birthday.
Anyhow, I wasn't planning anything super huge for my birthday, but wanted to take time to notice something positive about each day this week leading up to my big day, since lately I seem to only been noticing the obvious negatives/challenges I'm facing.
Sunday - Father's Day, and my dad's actual birthday. Nice start to the week - remembering and honoring my father for all he has done for me in my life. He is super supportive of my crazy dreams in recent years, and definitely couldn't be doing what I'm doing without his help. In the morning I trekked out to our favorite Baptist church in South Central LA with members of my church congregation to strengthen our interfaith relations, as well as eat good barbecue (we visit them every Father's day, and they in turn visit us sometime in the fall). It's always fun to worship with the Baptists! I also attended a dessert party that evening and had free cookies.
Monday - Hung out with some church friends at FHE, watched some films from last year's film festival, ate more free cookies, and got in some piano playing time before they locked up the church building.
Tuesday - Spent some time with one of the performers in my show, then sat on my couch watching episodes of TV shows I only watch when no one's home so no one will judge how cheesy I am. Later I showed up to my friend's "girls night" a little late and walked in to a surprise party! For me! Seriously spoiled with cake, good company, and homemade sushi.
Anyhow, I wasn't planning anything super huge for my birthday, but wanted to take time to notice something positive about each day this week leading up to my big day, since lately I seem to only been noticing the obvious negatives/challenges I'm facing.
Sunday - Father's Day, and my dad's actual birthday. Nice start to the week - remembering and honoring my father for all he has done for me in my life. He is super supportive of my crazy dreams in recent years, and definitely couldn't be doing what I'm doing without his help. In the morning I trekked out to our favorite Baptist church in South Central LA with members of my church congregation to strengthen our interfaith relations, as well as eat good barbecue (we visit them every Father's day, and they in turn visit us sometime in the fall). It's always fun to worship with the Baptists! I also attended a dessert party that evening and had free cookies.
Monday - Hung out with some church friends at FHE, watched some films from last year's film festival, ate more free cookies, and got in some piano playing time before they locked up the church building.
Tuesday - Spent some time with one of the performers in my show, then sat on my couch watching episodes of TV shows I only watch when no one's home so no one will judge how cheesy I am. Later I showed up to my friend's "girls night" a little late and walked in to a surprise party! For me! Seriously spoiled with cake, good company, and homemade sushi.
Sunday, May 11, 2014
That's A Wrap! Or Is It?
My circus show "This End Up" wrapped things up on April 27th after two awesome weekends of shows. It was SO fun! We had a cast of 8 performers and 1 tech guy, and let me tell you - everyone poured a little bit of their soul into this production! Many of our performers hadn't met before rehearsals began, yet everyone fit together quite nicely and enjoyed bonding with each other during our time at the warehouse. Just a week after our last show we were in full break-down mode; disassembling the truss, scaffolding, lighting, cleaning, packing, moving, etc. When everything was cleaned up and power washed it looked like we had never been in the warehouse at all! Kind of sad, but satisfying at the same time knowing we had completed the project Mike, Krista, and I had set out to do last year (sad that Krista was unable to stay with us to see the final project - she's traveling the USA with another circus!).
The doors to the warehouse may be closed, but our circus will go on!
Throughout the process of setting up the warehouse and running the rehearsals Mike and I were approached and in negotiations for a show contract, and by the time we finished breaking everything down Mike and I had officially formed our LLC and signed the contract to bring our show to the LA County fair this fall! We are over the moon for this opportunity! We open labor day weekend, and will be performing 3 to 4 shows a day for 23 days between August 29th and September 28th. Now come the production meetings, budgeting, the restructuring of the show to fit into a 30 minute time frame, wardrobe updates, scheduling of performers (we only need 5 there per day instead of the full cast of 8), requests for permits, etc. We are going to be TIRED by the end of this, but a very satisfied, happy to be doing what we love kind of tired. I feel so blessed right now!
The doors to the warehouse may be closed, but our circus will go on!
Throughout the process of setting up the warehouse and running the rehearsals Mike and I were approached and in negotiations for a show contract, and by the time we finished breaking everything down Mike and I had officially formed our LLC and signed the contract to bring our show to the LA County fair this fall! We are over the moon for this opportunity! We open labor day weekend, and will be performing 3 to 4 shows a day for 23 days between August 29th and September 28th. Now come the production meetings, budgeting, the restructuring of the show to fit into a 30 minute time frame, wardrobe updates, scheduling of performers (we only need 5 there per day instead of the full cast of 8), requests for permits, etc. We are going to be TIRED by the end of this, but a very satisfied, happy to be doing what we love kind of tired. I feel so blessed right now!
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
I Guess I Better Blog Today
I have so much to say and no time to blog! BUT I needed to post something before April disappeared without a single post. I have something like 6 drafts saved and waiting to be worked on and I still can't seem to get my thoughts in place to finish any of them. I guess I've been pouring too much creative energy into my show, WHICH WAS AWESOME BY THE WAY, and didn't have any to spare for a while. Maybe now that we've finished our first run I can re-direct some of my creative efforts here and make this blog semi-readable again. Wouldn't that be nice?
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